Earth Charter Israel

These are tips from the latest discussion by the Women's Circle: Building Community Together: Respect and Community, presented by Aliza Chen in December 2007. To participate in our Women's Circles, please contact our director, Pnina Merimsky, at denpni1@013.net.  For more tips, click on the links below:

Respect: What does respect mean in practice:

• Consideration for others

• Accepting others for what they are

• Seeing others

• Not being boastful or arrogant

• Embracing others

• To accept the individuality of everybody

• To be truthful and sincere with everybody

• To consider the other's needs

• To make room for the different

• To listen to somebody else's idea

What do we gain from respecting others?:

• A feeling of control – I don't interrupt, I have time to think

• When you give respect, you are also respected in return

• Very often a person gives respect because he was educated that way.

• If you give respect , you feel better about yourself

• Those who didn't receive respect from their parents, will carry with them a great deprivation all their life and will feel the need to be respected in order to fill their batteries with strength

• There is a process which leads to respect – listening,, assimilation then finally – respect.

• Gandhi said "Be the change you want to see" – set a personal example.

How can we respect when the person facing us opposes all our vaues?

• First of all – respect yourself as a person!

• Develop the ability to embrace him with his differences

• Forgive, accept and embrace

We tend to point out other peoples' mistakes. When somebody is always pointing at others, it shows that he himself lacks internal harmony and he should work on himself.

How do we show respect?

• Listening

• Being empathetic

• Smiling

• Taking an interest in the other person

• Asking for the other person's opinion before making a decision

• Being flexible and not creating antagonism

• Giving feedback

• Encouraging and favoring

• Sensing the other person's needs

What do we gain by giving respect?

• Cooperation

• Sharing of energy

• Fewer conflicts

• In our relationships: to accept the other person as they are without wanting to change them.

When do we feel that we are not being respected?

• When we are discounted

• When we are shouted at

• When we are hit

• When others are late for meetings

• Using power against us (possibly in a hierarchy – a senior position)

• Orders are imposed on us without explanation

• We are criticized endlessly

• We are not listened to

• We are not looked at straight in the eyes

Respect depends on culture

When we see a challenge in what we do, our attitude will be totally different – respectable and respectful .

These days respect can be bought e.g. Guidamak

The two aspects of respect

1. Respect for someone else

2. Respect out of ego

Why don't we respect ?

There are two reasons: one psychological and the other social.

Respect requires an effort and man is naturally reluctant to make an effort. It's easy to respect those we love and esteem but an effort to respect those whom we find difficult. Here we are doing our human revolution.

Television and radio programs are built on arousing impulses of opposition: religious against secular, gay against straight, Ashkenazi against Sefaradi etc.

What can be done about it ?

• Raise the level of awareness

• Educate parents and children

• Say "those who can respect are strong!"

For Making Friends:

https://docs.google.com/Doc?docid=dgc99z44_142fxz56dc9&hl=en